Thin on the inside

I've decided to write this next blog keeping in the spirit of fat people. What is it with them and small things/spaces? I was on the train the other day and I saw a space fit for a toddler available across from me. I look up and there's this big,wide ass in my face moving about. As I cringed, I went back to reading my book, happy that at least the person is honest with herself and isn't trying to get in where she doesn't fit in--or so I thought. Wouldn't you know, she paced this way, then that way and sure enough, she got her big ass into that toddler-ready space! I couldn't believe it. It was like she was put into one of those spacevac things where they suck all the air out the bag to make your clothes fit into your suitcase better. I mean, how did she do it? Was it magic? David Copperfield where are you? No? Chris Angel,maybe? Ok, Ok, David Blaine. I couldn't help but chuckle to myself though. I don't know if it's because NYers are so used to the unusual or what, but the people to the left and the right of her didn't even react. The look of apathy was priceless! Any who, enough about her and her apparent problem with space assessment. Now I want to address this skinny jeans problem. The IRONY! Fat chicks in skinny jeans!LMAO I mean, it just doesn't get any better than that. Now, now...don't get me wrong, SOME(emphasis on some) can get away with wearing them, but the vast majority look like tops. Which reminds me, the fat girls' saving grace will be these damn dudes wearing skinny jeans! Who OK'd that?! Guys--in particular, the younger generation--you have different genitalia! How on Earth do you guys find room to fit into skinny jeans? Are you tucking? You must be. Then to make matters worse, there's that damn jerkin' dance! UGGGH!!!SHOOT ME(not really)! Seriously, that shit is gay as hell. You don't go say to another man "yeah we bout to start jerkin all day" and then consider yourself straight after that. Throw me a friggin bone here! Anyway, my distractions are many, so I'll just end it here. Before I go though, I'd like to shout out all the fat chicks that are thin on the inside!