The Plight of the Left Hand

Before I begin, I'd like to thank the makers of the keyboard and the makers of the innanet--yes the innanet-- for without them, I might have to arduously write this shit. After 22 years of being left-handed in a right-handed world, it has dawned on me that in the world of hands, the left hand is--to equate it to kindergarteners--the one that gets pointed at, laughed at, and danced around in a circle while all the kids chant ever-so-slowly, "Lefty McShnefty"! I really think it was an evil plot formulated during the days of the "New World" colonization. Then the corporations followed suit and said "yeah, we'll make all the notebooks comfortable for righties!" Which reminds me...why don't they have a "righty" term? What type hogwash is that? I despise the term "lefty". Damnit, I'm left-handed, not a 'lefty'! You righties don't know how frustrating it is to innocently be writing and here comes some jerk with those wretched "oh you're a lefty?". In my mind I'm screaming "What the fuck does it look like you damn genius" but I can't be so rude and forthright. I have to remember, I'm not just representing me, I'm representing all of the lefti--I mean, left-HANDED people. Then there's the people who are just getting to know you and they go and ask "so are you a lefty?" Again, who asks that? I'm going to make it my business to say "hey, are you a righty?Huh?Are you a dirty little righty?" Let's see you guys like it! From these got damned right handed notebooks to the cops bothering me because I'm black AND left-handed it gets rough out here! OK,OK, I'll admit, if cops harass me it rarely--Fine! It never has anything to do with my left-hand, but I'm sure it would if they knew! If you ask me, it is us 'lefties' who brought the world to where it is today. We are the great minds of yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Now, of course, there's always an exception to the rule or some random dude who probably hung around lefties that slipped through the cracks, so I'll give those crack slippers their credit too. It's a cold world for us left-handed people,but we'll get by...one day at a time.